


the stars he cried.

by piryo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unreturned love, 星涙病
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:27:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23985304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piryo/pseuds/piryo
Summary: Oikawa feels so warm when he's around Iwaizumi, he trusts the other and feels comfortable around him but slowly this happy feeling turns into a pain in his chest. Oikawa has never felt pain like this.He starts losing his memories and the colors around him start to fade.Iwaizumi sees him cry stars when he confronts the other with his weird behavior but he doesn't tell anyone.based of the crying stars disease (星涙病)
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	the stars he cried.

**Author's Note:**

> so, this is about a disease similiar to the hanahaki disease.  
> it's been around japanese twitter since 2015 - atleast - and i found it really really damn beautiful.  
> it's called 星涙病 and i personally have discovered it through a youtuber i've been watching who did a make up tutorial on it, i believe she also said it's been popular on tiktok? i don't know it's been a while since i've watched the video and i do not use tiktok, so i don't really know. sadly i do not know who had the original idea for this disease but all credits go to them.
> 
> i have had a very rough time deciding on a pair and a fandom.  
> in the end i broke it down to mafumafu x soraru, tsukishima x yamaguchi and iwaizumi x oikawa but ended up with iwaizumi x oikawa, this trope is too beautiful to not use it on a lot of ships.
> 
> IMPORTANT, kind of : this is my first story i ever publish on here, so i'm kind of nervous? but please leave both, negative and positive, critism if you want to.  
> i'm not a native english speaker and i originally wrote this story in another language too because i felt more comfortable that way, so there might be grammar mistakes or other mistakes, sorry in advance.

Hajime was something special, very special. Tooru knew that since the day he met him. He got to know the other as good as he knew himself and grew up with him.  
But it was in middle school when Tooru began to feel different around the boy, he liked having him around.  
When Hajime was around, he felt happy. He felt home.  
It was a warm, cozy feeling.  
Hajime had the habit to insult the other and call him names but even that let Tooru smile brightly.  
Some years after, Tooru became the captain of his school's volleyball club, he had to take a lot of responsibility.  
But when Tooru was with Hajime, he could forget all this burden and he could be himself.  
And Hajime would support him, would have his back.

It was in high school when this beautiful feeling turned into a sting in Tooru's heart.  
The two were still going to the same school and even joined the volleyball club together, but they were in different classes.  
Iwaizumi had more trouble with learning and homework than Oikawa, they had a lot of volleyball training, Iwaizumi barely had any time left for Oikawa.  
It was hard to find alone-time with Iwaizumi because even when the other found time for his best friend, the other team mates would invite themselves to spend time with the two as well.  
Oikawa couldn't be mad at them, even though he wanted to.  
He would like to yell at them, tell them his opinion, would like to hate them because he couldn't spend any time with Iwaizumi. But he just couldn't bing himself to do so. He still liked them anyways. He likes spending time with them as well, the sting in his chest didn't go away though.

The pain was almost unbearable when Oikawa noticed that Matsukawa and Iwaizumi exchanged what seemed to be some inside joke that Oikawa didn't even know.  
He felt like he lost the closeness he used to have with Iwaizimi, he didn't feel warm when the other was around, instead he wanted to cry and hide himself in his bed.  
The brown haired male often found himself awake late at night, the sting still aching in his chest.  
He wanted to cry and let out all his feelings, just like he did when Iwaizumi and he spent some alone time years ago.  
But he couldn't, instead he had to stand this burning feeling in his chest.

The situation confused him. His grades got worse, he made no points in volleyball games which resulted in him losing his interest in volleyball and sitting on the bench during games instead.  
Iwaizumi had looked at him with a concerned expression and tried to speak to him after practice, but the younger had turned away and went home.  
But it wasn't any better at home, Oikawa didn't feel home at all, he fought a lot with his mother, wasn't hungry and couldn't sleep at night.

"Oikawa", said young male looks up when he hears his name, Iwaizumi stands infront of his desk, he has to look up to the other because he himself is sitting.  
"Did you take care of the new training suits?", Iwaizumi asks and looks his best friend in the eyes. Oikawa doesn't return the stare, he looks at Iwaizumi's nose instead.  
Was he supposed to get new training suits? He couldn't even remember that, why did they even need new ones? Did they get new club members? Were the old ones too small?  
Iwaizumi sighs, he doesn't get an answer from Oikawa, instead the male frowns and gets lost in his thoughts.  
Something was wrong with Tooru and it wasn't something he just noticed now.  
But whenever Iwaizumi wanted to talk about it, Oikawa changed the topic or ran away.  
"Tooru, is everything fine? You seem to be in a bad mood lately and you forget a lot of things too. First you forget that we don't have practice on thursdays, then you forget that the team wanted to eat together after practice and now this. Something is wrong and you can't tell me otherwise", Iwaizumi finally gets to voice his concerns.  
Oikawa just frowns even more, did he really forget all these things? He really couldn't remember that he did.  
Another sigh from Iwaizumi, again no answer from the younger.  
"And you're quite silent too. You sit on the bench during volleyball games and you look like you don't even have fun playing anymore. That's not how I know you"  
Oikawa sharply inhales the air and finally looks right into Iwaizumi's eyes. His confused expression turns into a frustrated, angry one.  
"That's not how you know me?", he asks "I feel like I don't even know you anymore at all"  
Cold tears run down the boy's warm cheeks, for the first time in a long time.  
He gets up and leaves the room, leaving Iwaizumi standing infront of his desk. The other just watches him leave, his mouth standing wide open.

Did Oikawa just cry stars?

The aching feeling in Oikawa's chest gets even worse after this incident.  
His eyes were hurting and everything slowly began to lose it's color. The colors he used to see started to fade.

Oikawa noticed that for the first time when he watched the sunset, he stood infrontof the window in his room, watching the sun inch closer to the horizon.  
The clouds around the sun were colored in a faint, almost greyish red and orange.  
Oikawa couldn't stop his tears seeing the colors fade, it felt way easier to cry after he cried infront of Iwaizumi.  
The sunset looked sad, not beautiful. The world started losing it's beauty.

Until the color completly faded, just like his memories did.

"Oikawa!", a voice, it sounded very familiar to Tooru - he couldn't sort it to someone though - calls him. But Oikawa doesn't turn around, he doesn't feel spoken to.  
"Oikawa!", again no reaction  
"Oikawa!", the voice gets louder and sounds closer to him this time, but again no reaction instead the male shoves his hands in his pockets and looks at his feet.  
"Oikawa", the voice is now really close and he feels a hand on his shoulder, the thight grip makes him stop walking and turn around to the person who belongs to the hand.  
A young male with short hair and a bored expression on his face stands infront of him.  
The face seems familiar but he can't remember the name.  
"Aren't you coming to the volleyball training?", the other asks him. Oikawa pulls his eyebrows together and shakes his head. He doesn't remember ever playing volleyball.  
"I'm sorry, you must have gotten the wrong one. I don't play volleyball", he says and smiles at the other, he can faintly remember the others name. Hana...Hanam...Hanama..he doesn't remember more of it. It makes him crazy. He can't ever remember anything.  
The expression of the other turns into a confused, then annoyed one.  
"Your jokes aren't funny, they never were", the other responds and Oikawa shakes his head.  
"I'm not joking", he says with a serious expression on his face.  
"I can't remember ever playing volleyball, I'm sure I couldn't even name one rule of that game"

Oikawa is tired of it, he's tired of seeing the world in nothing but grey and black, he's tired of not remembering anything. He's tired of the pain in his chest, he's tired of crying every night.  
It's frustrating, it makes him angry.

He fought with his mother only some minutes ago, it was about his grades once again and apparently some mother of a friend of his called, she said her son and Oikawa's other friends were worried about him because he didn't seem like himself lately.  
But Oikawa doesn't remember this boy, he doesn't remember having bad grades either.  
She left the house, to end the fight and buy some groceries, that was when Oikawa had to cry again.

Tooru feels helpless and frustrated, he doesn't know what to do with his feelings.  
The tears don't seem to stop, the pain in his chest gets stronger, he can't breathe, his chest feels like he just ran a 200 meter marathon twice.  
Oikawa walks around his room, an angry expression on his face, he can't sit still, he pulls on his hair, scratches his arms and loud sobs escape his throat.

The brunette sits down on his bed after some time, his crying came to a stop when he noticed stars that were spread on his bedroom floor. He picked one of it up and looked at it. He had never seen such a star, where did they come from? Did he forget them too? Did he just forget how they came here?  
It frustrates him and once again tears roll down his face, it's the first time Oikawa notices he doesn't cry tears. He cries stars instead.  
He has never noticed them before, has never seen these kind of stars and crying stars was impossible right? But it was the only explanation why stars instead of tears fell into his hands.

The boy lays down on his bed and turns his face to the wall, he pulls his knees closer to his chest and looks at the star he still holds hand. It's fascinating and now that he looks closer at it, he notices how beautiful it is. He finds it beautiful despite not being able to see it's color. It's been a while since Oikawa found something this beautiful without seeing it's color. The sunset got ugly a while ago, he couldn't stand looking at it anymore.  
It used to be so beautiful, he used to love looking at it. He used to look at it with Iwaizumi. Is that why he hates it so much now?  
Usually just thinking about the sunset made him feel awful and it made him cry but looking at the star made him feel at ease.

He closes his eyes with a smile on his face and presses the star close to his chest.

Iwaizumi was the last one to stay even when everyone else had left. He couldn't convince himself to walk away, he felt tears rolling down his cheeks and grips onto something in the pocket of his jacket.  
Oikawa Tooru had died at the age of 17. 

The police was quick to say it couldn't be murder, Oikawa had no wounds, there was no blood anywhere, no signs of someone breaking in, they didn't even find poison in Oikawa's body.  
What was weird was that Tooru had been surrounded by stars, most of them were colored in a light blue, they where shining and made a twinkling sound when you moved them around.  
One of them, an especially beautiful one, was found in his hand, he held it close to his chest and the police said he almost looked peaceful and happy holding it.  
Tooru's mother had given the star to Hajime who held onto it like his life depended on it when she gave it to him. He keeps it in his pocket all the time.  
They couldn't explain the stars or how Tooru had died but they let the case slide, called it suicide.  
Hajime hadn't told anyone. He hadn't told anyone that he saw Tooru cry these stars before.  
Tooru died surrounded by the stars he cried because of him.


End file.
